Well my nighttime cold medicine made me sleep today until almost 12 which is just crazy if you ask me. Im not really feeling any better today. I just ate some baked cheetos, thinking about warming up some soup. I feel horrible, my sinuses are all clogged which is making my head feel really heavy and my nose keeps running and my throat is still scratchy.

   I am sitting here watching gossip girl which is good as usual. My friend shannon is texting me probably wanting to come over so I guess I need to get up and get dressed. I just dont feel like it at all. Later Damar wants to go to a basketball game with his cousins but I dont think I am going to feel like it. I am probably going to try though, we havent really done anything fun since we got back from Florida.

  Oh well I am going to run for now, Sorry so short

   Well its been a long time since I have posted an update. I got back from florida and realized my precious mocha had ate my laptop charger wire. So the only computer I had was my really really old one, the screen is part way broke off. Everything online seems really really tiny on that computer so I just decided to not post. I had to order a new wire which cost 80 bucks. He also destroyed damars jacket, he ate part of the zipper right off lol. He is a chewer, especially when he gets upset.
   Being home has had its advantages, one of the best being close to Ciara. She actually spent the night Saturday and all day yesterday with me. I love having her over, she keeps me busy thats for sure. Me and Ciara ended up going to Church last night and I dont know, I just dont think it is the Church for me. I mean it is close to my house which is a plus but I get bored and if I get bored then I dont want to go. I know it shouldnt be like that but unfortunately when I feel like I am fighting myself to stay awake it is hard for me to want to go there.
    On the other hand I finally started my book. I have been saying I wanted to do it since reading the twilight series and getting mad that it didnt keep going after the fourth book. I figured I would write my own book so that way if i like it I can make it keep going my own self and see what happens to all of the characters. I knew sort of what I wanted to write about but I dreamed part of the book and so that is the part I am writing now. As usual I am having a really hard time with the conversations between the characters. But so far I think it sounds good, I can envision it happening in my head as I am writing it so that helps some. So far I have only written 4 pages, and it has taken me 3 days to do that lol. But ive had other things on my mind as well. Last night I couldnt sleep until I had written some of it.
   Later today I need to go to one of my most favorite and least favorite places all at the same time lol. That would be walmart. I love it but I hate it too. Although I must say the Walmart around here is not as bad as the one in Florida. Speaking of Florida, I miss my parents so much. Even Damar said he misses them. I think he mostly misses having breakfast made for him everyday, but still.
   School is going good, my anthropology class is almost over, starting tomorrow is my last week. Which means I need to order my sociology books. But I can wait until I get paid for that. I need to finish my research report which I am doing on polygamy, and I am really dreading that. I havent heard anything from my social worker so I need to email her and see what is going on. I have my parenting class not this week coming up but the saturday after. So after that hopefully my homestudy will be approved and all I have to do is save up the money for the adoption and wait for someone to pick me. I honestly cant wait until I have a child of my own.
   Oh well I am going to end this for now, my book is calling for me to write it lol.

  Well my New Years Eve was kind of boring. I went to the little local casino thingy and I did win a 25 gift card but other then that I didnt win too much. I drank too many cappucinos though and I kept going into panic attacks or whatever it was. My heart was racing and didnt feel very good. After we had been there for a while my aunt asked if I could run over to my cousins house. My little cousin Woody was watching my cousin Joeys baby and he couldnt get him to stop crying. I believe this was his first time watching him and really first time with a baby that I know of. Logan is still so tiny. By the time we got there Logan was asleep. So mom, damar and I just sat there talking to Woody for a little while.  There was some car auction on the tv there, there were some really old cars. All in all it was pretty cool. We came home at about 11. The sound of the baby swing was putting me to sleep. And woody was falling asleep. So we got home like 10 minutes before 12. So we watched the ball drop. I went to sleep at about 1 because mom and I were looking online for minivans.
  Which leads me up to the next thing. I got one, I got a mini van. Now I know it wasnt in my plans like that. It was supposed to be adoption then minivan, but I got too much stuff and it wont all fit into my car. So it seemed like a good time to upgrade. So I got a 2007 white dodge grand caravan se.  It was really cheap it was 8995. I put money down so I financed like half of it. They also offered me a warranty and a tire warranty plan so I got both. My payment is like 220 a month. Which isnt bad but I am not used to having a car payment. So I keep telling myself that after saving money for adoption then I am going to pay it off as much as I possibly can. Needless to say I already have a lot of stuff packed up in the van cause we had to clean out the car to pay it off. It is neat, I didnt know but right by the 2nd set of seats are little cubbies to store things in. So I have some of the baby stuff that I got from my parents house in there.  Needless to say I love love love it. I wish I wouldve known that I was getting one I wouldve pulled more stuff out of the closet and brought it with me. But I am guessing it will be ok.  Damar doesnt like it much but I think he has some growing up to do. He still wants fast cars he isnt thinking about how we are all going to fit in the car  when I adopt a baby. Normally I have me, damar, my best friend jenn, mikey and of course the princess. So now when I adopt a baby there will really be no room for everyone. Now there will be room for 2 carseats and 5 people.  i dont really like the color, white is plain to me but it was a really good buy. It started off at 12,000 but they just knocked it down again for today.  The only thing I would like to get is  a little console for in between the front seats. They do have cupholders built in but there is no place for like my cds or whatever. Oh well I am going to end it

 So today is officially New Years Eve. Me and Damar were up pretty late talking about our New Years Resolution. I actually have a couple I really want to try this year. Rather then my usual I want to lose weight, instead this year I am saying I want to cook more. I think if I cook more meals then I will ultimately lose weight. Going out to eat, the food has so many more calories then if you cook at home. Especially since I dont eat much more then chicken. I am thinking I will be much more healthy if I do that resolution. Another resoultion I have to is of course to save more money. I need to save money for the adoption so that is a really important one. I am going to stop spending money like I have been. This one kind of goes hand in hand with the cooking more. Most of the time it costs so much more money to eat out then it does to cook at home. But I know that I can do it. Another resolution I have is to work more. Now that I have been in mom and dads office I see how busy mom is and just how much work she does. So I want to do some work so I can alleviate some of it off of her. Right now I am just answering the phones and I feel so bad cause I want to help the people but she has all of the information. I have no idea where to even look for some of the information.

  So they are my actual resolutions. I am sure I will figure out some more somewhere along the way. But those are the most important ones. Mom says next year so far looks pretty good for us. Our last couple of paychecks have been sorta small so I havent really been able to put money in the bank like I would like to. But according to her we should do better next year.  The only thing that really scares me is taxes. I need to pay them and thats going to be a whole lot of money. My dad has been putting money in a seperate account though so I will have some saved but I will have to save the rest. Im probably going to cry when that happens cause I am probably go down to almost zero. That is the bad part of making good money working at home. Taxes are a killer it really is.  I guess this year I get to claim stuff for school though. I want to claim as much as I possibly can.

  So last night I was talking to Damar about adopting. I am so anxious it isnt even funny. I am just worried about the waiting time and the cost that it takes to adopt. Honestly I try not to think about it because when I do I get discouraged and feel like crying. I mean when you look at between 16 and 28 thousand dollars, it is really overwhelming. But oh well I am not going to think about it today

  Tonight for the new year we are supposed to go to the little casino thingy down the road. It isnt like the real casino like the ones in Las Vegas, it is just a little one with only slots. You put money on a card and play with that, when you win you have the option instead of cash, to get giftcards. I dont know it seems like you win more on those, so like the other day I went there and i used 15 bucks and I was there for almost 2 hours. So it gives you something to do, the excitement of the casino but you dont spend as much money. I really like the slot that is like mermaids and fish. The mini game on there is really fun you have to pick the right clam and the amount you get gets higher the more you get it right. I also like the bug one too. But I didnt win too much on that one before. I think I might try a different one this time because I got real bored of the other ones. I dont know I always get really bored in casinos

  I am leaving on Friday to come home and to be honest I am dreading it. I really want to go home, even though I am going to miss my parents, but I dont want to drive the 18 hours it is going to take to get there.Thats why I decided to stay longer then we were supposed to. Not to mention I have no clue how I am going to get everything home which is kind of scary. But I guess we will manage somehow. Oh well I am going to end this for now.

Well it has been a couple of years since I have posted on here. So much has changed in that amount of time. I moved from Florida into Maryland. Although sometimes I wish I was still back in warm sunny Florida, Maryland has been good for me. Well for the most part.

Lets see I am now 26 years old. I feel so old, I am over half way to 50.I work as a truck agent, and it enables me to work at home. I also go to an online college, I am trying to get my psychology degree. I live in a rented 3 bedroom house that I love for the most part. Its big downfall is the fact that it only has 1 bathroom, and the living room is pretty small too. But other then that I love it. The best thing of all is I am really close to my best friend since the 3rd grade. She now has a 1 year old little girl. Ciara is the apple of my eye, she is so cute and most of the time she is so sweet. She is getting to the age where she is getting a little ornery lol.  I spend most of my free time with my friend Jennifer and Ciara. I have a boyfriend that I have been with for a year now. His name is Damar. He is 23 so a little younger then me. For the most part he is a really good boyfriend. Othertimes he can be not so great. 
 
  I don't have any kids yet but I am working on it. I am still in the middle of getting my homestudy done for adoption. It should be completed and approved by the end of January. It is taking so long because the agency I am doing it through makes you take a parenting class before it is approved and they dont offer the classes very often. But I am trying to save money for that. It is unbelievable how much adoption costs. I have wanted kids my entire life, well from the time I can remember at like 2. I remember begging my mom to give me a brother or sister, but she couldnt for health reasons. I never thought I could afford to adopt, like I said it is really expensive. But I figured if I saved money then maybe I will be able to. After my homestudy is approved then I get put on the waiting list and right now it is between 8  months and 4 years. So I am really hoping to have a child next  year, but I am not sure. I have heard that the 4 years is the wait for a perfect caucasian child, more likely a girl.  I think it is crazy that the prices are different at some agencies, depending on the race or sex of the child. Its like they are selling puppies or something. Speaking of puppies, I now have 4 dogs. Only 2 of them live with me in Maryland though. Mocha is 9 months old. He is another Jack Russell/ Chihuahua mix, he is white with a little brown on him. He is a cutie and of course he is my little shadow. Precious also lives with me in Princess anne, she is now 9 years old. It is kind of hard to believe. For the most part precious loves her little brother. Sometimes she is tired and doesnt want anything to do with him but she plays with him a lot.
  
  Anyways so I am at my parents house right now for Christmas. I come here every year to spend the holidays with them. My mom gets really depressed if I do not come so I always make sure to come. I got to get most of my stuff that I had from before when I was trying to adopt my cousins baby. That was a really long time ago, Kayla is 5 now.  Its funny the baby wipes are still good, who would've known they would still be good. It made me kind of sad as I went through the stuff. There was so many dreams and wishes in that stuff. But I just tell myself that hopefully one day soon there will be a child to fill those clothes. I am lucky I have Jennifer that lets me put all of my mothering impulses on Ciara. It makes me feel better to know that they are not wasted. I love when she looks at me and says Nah Nah, which is what she calls me.

  Oh well I am going to end this for now. I might write a little bit more later.

Wow I haven't written in here in forever. Oh well I thought I would. I don't really know what to write about. When you write you kind of have to think and I have been trying not to do that lol. Do you know how hard it is to just not think. I pretty much have to lay in my bed with the covers over my head, curled in a ball with headphones on and my eyes closed. Tomorrow I go back to work so I have to snap out of this though. I am going to have to face it no matter how much I don't want to.
The flight home was just awful. Have you ever had a strong feeling that you should do something? Like it was critical for you to pay attention to something or for you to do something. Well I had that feeling and I ignored it. I know that is going to cost me something, I am not sure what yet. It hurts so bad knowing I am losing him again. I sit back and wonder why, what did I do this time? But I know I did nothing, unfortunately it is just the circumstances. I am here, he is there and I cant do anything about it right now. Its funny I asked mom if she thought I really loved him or am I crazy. She said she thought I really loved him and I said Darn. Because I know if I was crazy then I could fix it, but I cant fix the other. Ya know when he left and broke my heart the first time, everyone said I would get over it. That one day I wouldnt love him anymore. It has been 5 fricken years. We only dated for 2. You would think that it would be gone by now. But it isnt it is still so strong.
I wonder what he is doing now? I dont think he could have forgotten about me already, so I wonder what he is thinking. All I can see is his eyes staring at me. He looked soooo sad. That is what I can't get out of my head, that is the look that makes me feel like I am dying inside. He looked so believable.
I would do anything to just stop loving him..... Why won't he just go away??

Hey well it has been soooo long since I have updated. Nothing ever changes really. I am still IN LOVE with this boy named Adam. He is an intern where I work. I did get a promotion so I am finally out of customs YAY!!! So I should start training Sept 1st. I go to Maryland in 6 days I cant wait. I am driving people crazy at work counting down the hours lol. I am going to get my hair cut and dyed this weekend. And going to the movies hopefully adam is going to show up lol. I gave him my cell number lol maybe he will call. I hope so. I also asked Rach to accidently let it slip sometime that I like him lol. I am officially her baby's fake aunt lol. Baby elizabeth's only aunt lives in Austrailia, so I am filling in. I can't wait until she comes out lol she is going to be so spoiled.

When I come back from vacation I am starting nutrisystem. That way the food comes to me. I think it will be easier that way.


Oh well going to go
LOVE YAS

Hey Everyone!! Sorry I have not written in so long. Not much is really happening. Trying to stay strong on my new diet lol. I am working out tons as well like from the time I get home until the time i go to bed. I have lost 6 pounds last week, which isnt too bad considering I cheated every single one of them. I just want to get into those cute little jeans before vacation that is all. I have a crush on this little intern... I know he will never like me but still. I am in a really bad depression. I keep trying to cheer up but nothing is working. I just feel dull and boring. I know somewhere under the tons of fat is a pretty person but you just cant see it. I just feel like the lil intern could like me, but the only place I see him is at work and he isnt going to know the real me from there. They never really invite me anywhere, so I just dont know.

This semester is almost over, I have to go take my final this week. Next semester starts Aug 25th. I am taking intro to business and economics. Fun Fun!!. At least Work is going to pay for these two classes. They pay half up front and then half at the end. I just have to get c's.

Wellll today was an alright day. Mom had a meeting at work so we ended up getting there at about umm 7ish. LMAO I usually don't start until 8:30. I am the fastest tracker there though so like I ran one of the girls reports and started on that. She has the most work everyday and its like she is always there until 7 or 8 at night. So anyways I did like 100 shipments of hers and then by 9am I got started on my own. Anyways so my workload wasnt too too bad. Mom and I ended up going to Jason's Deli. OMG they have some good food in that joint lol. And then of course my quad mates and I Steph, Sandy and Nicole, we laughed and chatted all day. Makes the day so much better when you can laugh through it. No expedited shipments came in today so I was really happy about that. Around 4 the electric went off twice though :( I was almost done my report and all of a sudden boom no computer, my battery backup was dead. So then about 15 minutes later I had it all back up and boom it was off again how irritating.....

I get to go home to maryland soon!!!! YAY. I have been so homesick lately. I think because of all the stress from work and everything. It makes me remember a time when I was really happy and not as stressed and that was back in maryland. Oh well I guess I will be alright. For some reason like this month and next, I stay sad and depressed the whole time. Usually by the middle of Sept im back to normal, It is just kinda weird. I am talking to this new dude. His name is George, he is pretty nice. I would much rather have jason but oh well.

I wrote a note to my ex boyfriends brother. I mean I dunno I was once pretty close to him but bad things happened between me and his brother and he like hasnt talked to me since. I dont know it hurts my feelings so much. Because like I have talked to his brother and the bad things I did TO HIM, he forgives me for, so its like why wont his brother talk to me?? Oh well, ya know I guess it is his loss. I think I am a pretty nice and loyal person. But it still bothers me.

Next semester starts Aug 24th. Hopefully the day I fly to Maryland.....

Dennis Ha what a name. Well it is like 200 miles west of Ft myers right now. In other words I am not dying today and no being swept away to cuba either lol. That is a really good thing. This morning is was just drizzling so mom and I decided to go get breakfast before it got too bad. We went to Mcdonalds pulled in line and they weren't taking credit cards lol so we had to wait for the line to move just to be able to leave. We then went to the bank, lol mom got out and their credit card machine was down too. So then we ended up at the grocery store. They had a ATM but someone had put a nickel where the card was supposed to go lol. So we ended up shopping a little bit and then was able to get money back and go to mcdonalds lol. So I have been eating junk all day lol. We got brownies and cookies and chips and buffalo cheezits lol. It has gotten pretty windy but not that bad I guess. I was more worried about tornadoes but I think the watch is over now. Last night I got woken up to the wind and rain and I swear i didnt think I was ever going to sleep. I thought about just taking my pillow and blanket and sleeping in the hallway. I sat up reading some of my old letters from high school. I also found my engagement ring and also some wooden rose thing that my ex Chris made me in shop class. LOl it still had his writing on the back and everything. Anyways reading the letters made me laugh, they were such good times back then. I had letters from Jenn and from Kelly Davis and some from Jackie Lewis. I wonder how she is doing. I hope good. It really makes you wonder though how all the old people are doing... I have been out of high school for like 5 years now. That is a long time.

Nothing better to do today so I started on my resarch essay bibliography. It is due on Monday so I only have to find one more article and then I should be finished. And next week I have to take another test and the week after that I need to have my essay rough draph in. Way too busy I think.

Oh well I am going to go.....

Kell

Hey Yall lol. Well the past couple of days at work have been great. Nice and quiet and not to stressful. Yesterday alot of GE was closed so that was kind of good. YAY for when GE is closed lol. For the next week and a half they are going to be working on our ac at work so we are having casual days. And did yall see the news.... Another damn hurricane :( I dont wanna hurricane. I hate them they are scary and our hall way is not very big and we had 2 mattresses 3 people 3 dogs 3 birds and a turle and a tv all in my little hallway lmao. I dont wanna get in there again. And it is so bad cause one of our managers at work sends us email during the day with hurricane updates. Nicole and I flip everytime we get one. Im telling ya I said one more hurricane and I was going to move, I mean it NO HURRICANES. I think it should be illegal for hurricanes to hit florida. Anywhere but here. Ok maybe not maryland michigan or new york but anywhere else lol. What did I do this weekend lol
Saturday, I met James and shopped all day
Sunday went to bealls, got cute shoes and a chateau purse :) very very cute. Oh yeah and a relic wallet, too cute as well. We went to TJ Maxx and Costco too but I didn't buy anything there.

Monday Went to the grocery store and bought Mona Lisa Smile. It was an ok movie. My favorite actress is Julia Stiles and she was in it, so that was the only reason why I got it lol.
I have discovered Dairy Queens Moolatte. Yummy lol I think I am addicted to them though oh yeah and publix salads. wow what a combination.

I haven't talked to Jason in it seems like forever. But thats ok the stupid idiot :'( MEN SUCK!!!!

Oh well I am going to go take pictures and put them on myspace lol...

Well yesterday I didn't have any time to really write in here. Mom and I spent most of the day shopping YAY!!!

Well I finally met my friend James. We have talked forever and he is one of my good friends. Anyways so mom was with me of course lol. So we met and went to eat lunch, then we went to Ross Bealls outlet and then to the bookstore. I dunno it was kinda weird but oh well. He was nice. At the end before he left he asked if I wanted a hug, I told him I wasn't the hugging type. And really im not I cant remember the last time I hugged someone. It was just weird though cause I didn't really want anything. Every once in a while I get in this mood like I don't want to buy anything but I still want to shop. I need a new purse and new shoes but I am just totally picky. The shoes have to be pink addidas or I wont buy them and the purse well it has to be just right lol. I couldn't find either yesterday. Ross has some nice purses but none that I wanted. LOL if I didn't drag mom out all day yesterday I would go to the mall I could probably find both of them there. ANyways it was kinda sad James just followed me up and down every aisle. I kept asking if there was anything he wanted to look at and he kept saying no. Oh well.

Anyways I haven't talked to Jason in a while. I am ok with it I guess. I really am going to have to just let him go. I can't stand being in this rut. I mean I really really like him and I just feel like he doesnt like me like that. He never has time for me so what is the point?

I got my hair cut yesterday. I need to figure out when I am going on vacation and put in for it. Before I go im getting my highlights re put in. That should be fun. I am trying to talk mom into going to the stuff a bear place today :) I want to make my very own bear it seems like fun to me. I love bears.

Oh well got to go

YAY I made it. Its going to be a nice long weekend AHHHH!

Lets see my cousin called last night. She was crying and so upset. I felt so bad. I guess my Aunt Jackie is dating this guy and he is not very nice to Meg. I mean she has her issues too, but like Aunt Jackie has made other comments where this guy seems controlling. I can kind of see how she feels I mean it just passed the years anniversary for my uncles death and it seems like she has dated like 10 men since he died. Now she even has one living with her. Meg is just upset she thinks her mom has forgotten all about her dad

On a good thought Meg was able to tell me how Kayla is doing and I talked to Adreanna for a little while. She sounds so grown up. She was asking me where I worked and if I still lived in the same house and if I still had cheyenne. LOL too cute. She is starting pre k this year coming up :( its so hard to believe that she is that old. Kayla is now 15 months old. She is growing up too. Everytime I hear her name part of me is still so sad. But I am glad she seems to be doing well. Meg is still with her husband Billy and for the moment Meg is saying he is really good with Kayla. I have heard some things in the past that make me really happy like him calling her racist names and such.

Cant wait until this weekend. I get to go shopping and go in the pool and maybe go to the movies.

YAY

Well I am off today. I got a whole day off since I worked on saturday and sunday. I am going to spend most of today writing an essay though. My head hurts pretty bad, and I am kinda dizzy. That isnt any fun :( Lets see what should I write about lol. I have no idea nothing really has been going on. I talked to jason on Monday for a little while. He didn't call last night which means I wont talk to him again until maybe next tuesday since this weekend is a holiday and Monday is a holiday. I am so depressed. I want to start dating again. I am so lonely all the time.

Well I was set to work this weekend. Normally I just do Saturday but this weekend the person that does sunday is out of town. So I am stuck doing that as well. I am going to start walking on my treadmill again today. It has been a huge break. I have an essay due next week so today we are going to some national park. IT seems like it will be pretty interesting.

Jason did end up calling last night at like 9:45. He called from a party. I didn't talk to him real long cause I was watching a movie. Mom got upset because I didn't feel special at all that he called me from a party. I am just like so what, I mean I really feel like I mean nothing to him. Mom said that a guy that calls with all of his friends around from a party when he could be doing something else, I should feel special. I am just like no I am not going to drop everything I am doing and be like oh wow he called me. No i dont think so. So I finally told him I was going to watch the movie and told him to call me sometime. I still love that kid for some reason :(

Man I am so down. I havent heard from Jason in forever. I tried calling him today, he had just gotten done firemen training, so I told him to call me a little later when he was done. Of course I have yet to hear from him. bunghole. I just want to curl in a ball and die. I hate men. I know I am not pretty, but I am a really nice person. Doesnt anyone care about that anymore????

Well last night I got a weird call. MY ex husbands lil brother called me out of the blue. I guess David died in January from complications of pneumonia. I am so sad and I dunno I just feel numb. I havent really felt like talking to anyone about it. Mom keeps asking me if I am ok. I keep saying yes, but I feel like saying my ex husband is dead, really how do you think I feel. We werent even divorced a whole year before he died. Kenny said that his mom wouldnt let anyone call me, that it was none of my business. I know we were divorced and no I never loved him like a husband, but he was a friend. I mean goodness, I was with him 24 7 for months. I just wanna cry everytime I think about it.


I just pray that he didnt suffer at all. And I hope he went to heaven. Kenny said he was going to keep in touch, I hope he does. I just dont really know how to explain how I feel. I mean how do you feel when someone you were married to has been dead all these months and you just find out. I am soooo sad.

Well mom sent Jason my pictures yesterday. Now he knows I am not good enough for him. I am kinda upset but ya know I guess I knew it was going to happen one day. All he wrote back was that they were cute pictures but I wasnt smiling. I dunno would you be smiling if you knew you were going to lose someone you loved?? I dont think so. Oh well I guess life will go on. Ill just be sad for a little while but if I got over Chris then I surely can get over jason.

I swear my life sucks I hate it I hate it I hate it. I hate my job too. I was there last night working until 7:30 at night. That is pure craziness. Everyone else went home but I had to stay and do the expedited shipment. Now I need to find a new man and a new job. I just cant handle the stress there anymore. And I dont get any appreciation at all.

This morning I woke up sooooo sad. I am not really sure even why. It was just one of those days when I wake up and I just say you know what I hate you. Talking to myself of course. I swear sometimes I get so sick of being so sad all the time. Whatever happened to that happy carefree girl from a couple of months ago. I swear everytime I lose a little bit of weight this happens. Then I battle with eating disorders and eventually I level off. I wonder if it has something to do with messing up my metabolism and hormone levels hmmm not sure. But sometimes I am so sad I just want to curl in a ball and cry my eyes out.

I feel even worse cause I totally screwed up my diet today. I vow to stick on it tomorrow though lol. I had chinese buffet for lunch which I didn't eat a whole lot but then I had a buffalo chicken sandwich for dinner :(. Oh well oh yeah and I cant forget the chocolate and vanilla tootsie rolls at work lol. But I did come home and walk for an hour.

Today was kinda a long day. And my email at work still isnt totally working so usually when the email comes in I have it set to distribute to different personal boxes. But right now everything is flooding my inbox and I can't save it anywhere so every 15 minutes my email is too full and shutting down. So annoying :( So I had to submit a trouble ticket and hope they fix it soon. I wanna take in my digital camera tomorrow. I want to take pictures of my desk and see if nicole will let me take her picture. She got all her hair cut off and I swear she looks just like jada, Will Smith's wife. It looks soooooo good on her. She is a pretty girl anyways but this just made her look so much better. She normally puts her hair in this little donut looking this in the back of her head. But now her hair is short and well I dunno it just looks really good.

Only 4 more days till I leave to go to Destin Florida. I am so not looking forward to it. Most of the people that I have talked to that just got back from the trip said it wasn't bad at all but still. They wake you up at like 5am and you dont stop until like 9 at night. And they work you to death :( so not fun.